Comments for Guide in boosting self esteem

Comment on How do i become more confident? I have had bad self esteem since 13.? by Susan Yarrawonga

Susan Yarrawonga — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:24:44 +0000

Perhaps you can find some useful tips in a web search for "natural acne remedies".

Joining a Toastmasters Group might perhaps help as with more confidence and better presentation skills you will be more successful, relaxed and happy in the world.

Comment on How do I help my boyfriend with his bad self esteem over penis size? by Naguru

Naguru — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 03:18:23 +0000

Ask him to get help from experts.

Comment on Why do people tease someone who has a really bad self-esteem? by Tiger

Tiger — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:08:16 +0000

I feel sad for this girl even reading this question. I wish I could help her….if you are seeing something like this, maybe this is a test for you to do the right thing. She just may need someone to talk to or be friends with. Maybe she has troubles at home…. who knows …could be many reasons, she may be struggling with.
My friend and I went out dancing one night, we use to model and guys thought we were snobs…anyway, everyone was dancing while this one man in a wheel chair was all by himself but trying to have fun on the dance floor. And we felt so bad for him, both of us went to the dance floor and started dancing with him. he was soo happy and It felt really good to lift his spirits. ))

Comment on How can I fix my bad self esteem? by terrestrial

terrestrial — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:50:41 +0000

Wow, I’m horrified by the answers you’re getting from other members. Coming from someone who also struggles with low self-esteem, I would recommend that you definitely do a lot of reading and research into the literature availalbe on self-esteem, adult attachment, body image, self worth. If I had to recommend some "self-help" authors, I’d say try reading some books by Bill O’Hanlon or Albert Ellis. They influenced my understanding of psychology in general. The more you read, the more you will come to understand not only yourself but others.

Its wonderful that you recognize your self-esteem issues. This is called self-awareness or insight. The next steps you can take are to challenge your irrational thoughts and to realize that you CAN control how you think, feel, and behave. It will be hard, it will be slow, and there will be setbacks, but if you work hard at improving yourself, you will experience progress. The best to you!

Comment on Why do people tease someone who has a really bad self-esteem? by ▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ Sticki♥Chick ▐▄▄▄▄▄▄▌

▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ Sticki♥Chick ▐▄▄▄▄▄▄▌ — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:31:54 +0000

To be able to manipulate how someone feels makes one feel they have a sense of power.

It’s much like wife-beaters… the woman leaves, finally, and he falls apart because his identity was wrapped up in controlling her, and with her gone, he has no sense of himself.

Picking on people because they can, and nobody is going to stop them, makes them feel strong.

Yes, it’s sad, I know.

I was picked on as a child, for my whole entire childhood (my dad died right after we bought the house – he had NO life insurance but my mom raised 4 kids without ever going on welfare — my sister wore 2nd hand clothes, and I wore her hand-me-downs 7 years later, after they were wayyy out of date).

When I became a tween, a girl moved to our school that was about as bad off as I was… and I picked on her. It’s all I knew. And it made me feel better about myself when I picked on her (I saw her on the bus a few years ago, and apologized to her after explaining why I did what I did. She was really good about accepting my most sincere apology).

That whole time of my childhood, I had 1 friend. She didn’t stand up for me much infront of people (sometimes, but rarely… or if she knew some were planning to beat me up, she would distract them so I could sneak out another door), and I knew even then why she couldn’t publically be my friend (she’d be alienated & friendless), but she would save me some cake from her birthday party and would invite me over the next day, and stuff like that. That was 30 years ago, and just about every chance I get now, I tell her just how much her friendship meant to me back then.

It’s nice to know you have this empathy and compassion for her… please befriend this girl. She needs you. Really and truly, I know first hand that she NEEDS a friend. Should you be there for her, I’m certain you’ll be rewarded in Heaven when your life is through (for Jesus said, when you fed the hungry, you were feeding me, and when you sheltered the homeless, you were shelterng me). Heck, this girl may even name her children after you! Please at least offer her a piece of gum, a kind word, or even a simple smile.

God Bless you.

Comment on TEACHERS- What gives girls bad self esteem in the high school environment? by labhigh

labhigh — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 05:55:21 +0000

I agree with Alicia. You also have a great start. You can bolster your argument by looking up reasons for wearing uniforms. One of the reasons often given is that it puts everyone on a level playing field.
Many girls come to school with "shaky" self esteems so when the environment is such that it promotes the best, brightest, prettiest…, the ones that are not in that category are suddenly "destroyed". As a teacher, you have to be careful to know your class and not expose the short comings of a student before the class. You can destroy a child for life.
In elementary school, I recall the day we were weighed. It was fourth grade and the scale was put in front of the class. I never realized that I was overweight until that day. I could do everything that everyone else could. I could somersault and jump rope, etc. Anyway, that day I was weighed and the teacher announced 110 pounds. The others began to tease me. For a long time, I went into a tizzy. My mother had to work "overtime" helping me regain my self esteem. That was elementary, but imagine that in a high school class. As a high school teacher, I am always reminded of that and try very hard to not put students in an untenable situation. The media also has had an effect on the self esteem of young women. They don’t look like the girls in the magazines or in the videos… Many will attempt to dress like the thinner girls and of course that results in a lot of teasing… In my high school, I am certain that many of these girls found "shelter" with the rainbow coalition.
It also takes a strong young man to approach one of these young women because he has his reputation to uphold…So this certainly is icing on the cake of shame.

Comment on Why is it that most girls have really bad self-esteem issues? by Robert C

Robert C — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:43:09 +0000

This is a sad truth. Why beautiful women have self-esteem issues is due to other women!

Women tear other women down if they show any positive points about themselves. It’s not the guy that makes a girl have low self-esteem it’s other women/girls. Perhaps that’s because by nature women are very competitive.

Another thing, society gives way to much credit to looks. So women tend to be over critical of themselves because of it. It’s not the girls that’s the problem. It’s the times in which we live.

We are to influenced by the media(TV. magazines, Newspapers, Utube) and advertisers that feeds us this stuff(crap). Don’t be to harsh on them.

Robert Curtis (salon owner/stylist)

Comment on How do you develop good self-esteem? And what causes bad self-esteem? by Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:11:40 +0000

Affirmations
They way you think affects the way you feel.
low self-esteem can be caused by a number of reasons, the cause does not matter. Don’t focus on the problem focus on the solution.

I have taught these affirmations to a number of people.

I am a worthwhile person
I love myself unconditionally
I deserved to be loved by myself and others
I forgive myself for hurting myself and others
I forgive myself for letting others hurt me
I am not alone, I am one with God and the universe
I am capable of changing
and I’m doing it, one day at a time
And I’m happy… Because….
I’m Alive, I’m alive, I’m alive

Repeat aloud at least once a day.

You can also add others that you feel you need to say to yourself.

forgetaboutdiets.com is a very good site to gain more information that maybe helpful to you. I know it is focused on eating disorders, but the information is good, and can be used for a number of issues.

Comment on What in the high school environment gives girls bad self esteem? by emmyedouard

emmyedouard — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:21:11 +0000

All the things you mentioned and a lack of support in their life maybe a absent father, negligent mother, or friends that are toxic and break them down instead of building them up. I think that’s more of a factor than material goods and physical attributes. I mean you might admire a movie star or musician but their lifestyle most likely doesn’t appeal to you because chances are you have people in your life that value you, thereby boosting your self esteem. Wow that was a long sentence hope I helped!

Comment on I never feel pretty and i have really bad self esteem? by Jesse

Jesse — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 12:36:33 +0000

You just need to feel confident. Everyone is self-conscious about something, but you just need to tell yourself you’re pretty.

Wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and do something funny and say "good morning you sexy thing"

That’s what I do, and it makes me laugh because I look goofy when I roll out of bed.

But I guarantee you will have self-esteem.